Posts tagged i'm done with you

Welcome home.

You were a source of fascination for me for years and I recall many attempts from myself to develop a friendship between the two of us, despite your disinterest. Yet while gone, in the letters we exchanged (by YOUR request, not mine) you carried on about your loneliness.

Your loneliness, sir, was your OWN fault. I tried on multiple occasions to be your friend, to let you know I was interested and concerned about you and your life. Your interests, while not shared, I would be willing to learn of because they meant something to you. You seem to not understand that I could have been the best friend you ever have.

You insist in living in this world of misunderstood intent and aloof associations. The only friends you actually have are people as shallow and unconcerned as yourself — and you CHOSE these people.

Overall, I’m a much better friend than any you claim to have. Except Steve, I’m sure he’s wonderful. But looking at the rest of your crew, who are 3-6 years younger than you, you complain that they aren’t mature enough or have enough depth to their characters. Well of course not! They’re TEENAGERS.

You and I have known each other for years. There’s not a memory I have before moving here when I was 5, in which I can say I didn’t know you. I know you. And why you brushed me off, often, and yet STILL complain of being friendless to me, I just don’t understand. You’re a jerk.

I found myself completely over you before you left two years ago. I did. As soon as it became entirely too clear that this is actually how you were, I was done. Then you asked me to write. You chastized me for not writing enough! I had no idea that I actually meant anything to you. How could I, when you’d refused my friendship on so many occasions?

You personally frustrated all my attempts at friendship, and then claim that I don’t write enough. We weren’t friends! You left and my life didn’t change at all. Now you’re home and the only change is that your facebook updates disgust and vex me. You’re shallow, arrogant, pompous! The eccentricities that fascinated me about you are now merely the tinder fueling your constant burning self-centered egomaniacal mentality.

I wondered, upon your homecoming, why your facebook updates weren’t showing on my news feed. I had blocked you years ago. I couldn’t remember why. Now I’ve been enlightened.

How DARE you say that people can’t believe in Christ if they haven’t served a mission?! What on Earth is WRONG with you?! Your BEST FRIEND didn’t serve a mission. You DO realize you just said his own testimony of Christ is now CRAP, right? Your MOTHER didn’t serve a mission. How DARE you. Of all the disgusting idiot things you’ve done in the week since coming home, you now throw out everyone’s faith simply because they lack one experience you had.

I can say with the power of my soul that Christ is my Savior. I have been able to say this my entire life. I’m sorry that I never lived a life that questioned my testimony. NEVER have I questioned His divinity or mission. NEVER have I had to. So now you’re saying that I, who have never questioned, never doubted, never fell into unbelief, cannot possibly know that Jesus is the Christ because unlike you, who fell away, who shunned the church, who went through years of doubt, I didn’t serve a mission. How the crap does that make any sense?

Look, I’m glad you served. I am. I’m glad that Christ has become so very dear to you. I’m glad that His gospel FINALLY means something to you. And I’m thrilled at your enthusiasm to share it — and I’m proud that you were willing to leave your home for two years to do so. I honestly hope the glimmer of your faith doesn’t fade since you’re now home and getting back into the day-to-day of “normal life.” However, you do not impress me anymore.

The fascination in which I viewed you has taken a sick turn to disgust.

You suck at being a kind, compassionate person. You suck at being a friend. You just suck.